(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Two choices
You Have
Two Choices
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply,
“If I were any better, I would be twins!”
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed the job. So they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.
Why???????
Becoz…………..
Jerry was a natural Motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, jerry was always their, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to jerry and asked him “I don’t get it! No one can be positive person the entire tie. How do you do it?
Jerry replied “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in god mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.
I always choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of the life.
I always choose the positive side of life
But it is not always that easy, I protested.
Yes it is, said jerry.
Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to the situation.
You choose how people will affect your mood.
You choose to be in good mood or bad mood.
It’s your choice how you have live your life”
Several years later,
I had heard that jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business.
He left the back door of his restaurant open.
And then??????????
In the morning,
He was robbed by three armed men.
They want?
Jerry to open the safe box,
While jerry was trying to open the safe box,
His hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.
The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.
After 18 hours of surgery
And
Weeks of intensive care,
Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of bullets still in his body………………..
I saw jerry abut six months after accident.
When I asked him how he was,
He replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Want to see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” jerry replied.
“Then after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I choose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
I asked?
Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept me telling I was going to be fine.
But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man’
I knew I needed to take action
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me,” said jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything”
‘Yes’ I replied
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath
And
Yelled,
‘BULLETS!’
Over their laughter, I told them,
“Iam choosing to live please operate me as if I am alive, not dead”
“Jerry lived thanks to the skills of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.
I learned from him that
Every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.
The only thing that is truly yours ------that no one can control or take from you
Is your attitude
So if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.
Two Choices
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply,
“If I were any better, I would be twins!”
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed the job. So they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.
Why???????
Becoz…………..
Jerry was a natural Motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, jerry was always their, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to jerry and asked him “I don’t get it! No one can be positive person the entire tie. How do you do it?
Jerry replied “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in god mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.
I always choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of the life.
I always choose the positive side of life
But it is not always that easy, I protested.
Yes it is, said jerry.
Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to the situation.
You choose how people will affect your mood.
You choose to be in good mood or bad mood.
It’s your choice how you have live your life”
Several years later,
I had heard that jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business.
He left the back door of his restaurant open.
And then??????????
In the morning,
He was robbed by three armed men.
They want?
Jerry to open the safe box,
While jerry was trying to open the safe box,
His hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.
The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.
After 18 hours of surgery
And
Weeks of intensive care,
Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of bullets still in his body………………..
I saw jerry abut six months after accident.
When I asked him how he was,
He replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Want to see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” jerry replied.
“Then after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I choose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
I asked?
Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept me telling I was going to be fine.
But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man’
I knew I needed to take action
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me,” said jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything”
‘Yes’ I replied
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath
And
Yelled,
‘BULLETS!’
Over their laughter, I told them,
“Iam choosing to live please operate me as if I am alive, not dead”
“Jerry lived thanks to the skills of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.
I learned from him that
Every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.
The only thing that is truly yours ------that no one can control or take from you
Is your attitude
So if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
One........very touching Must Read
Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook, With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
..... And so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way, don’t see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
..... And so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way, don’t see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
Monday, May 4, 2009
Strategies for Success
Faced with a major project or challenge? You probably have a general idea of where you want to go, but you'll need a strategy, a plan of steps to take in order to reach that objective.
Planning is an investment. To plan wisely and well takes time, effort, patience‚ good research, and counsel. But a well-formed plan will pay for itself many times over.
There are many ways to create a strategy, but here are a few tried-and-proven principles that you might want to try:
Define your long-term objectives. What exactly do you hope to achieve? Spell each one out on paper in concrete, concise terms. For the greatest chance of success, narrow your focus to one or two primary objectives. You can take on more or diversify later.
Set short-term goals to reach your long-term objectives. In order to reach your long-term objectives, you will need steppingstones along the way. These should be smaller goals that together will get you to the final destination of your long-term objectives. They should be detailed and specific, concrete and measurable. If a goal isn't something that you'll be able to tick off as done, if it can't be quantified, then it's not specific enough.
Breaking down your goals into bite-sized pieces is crucial. The simpler and easier your goals are to reach, the better, because you'll see more immediate progress. It's easy to overestimate and shoot too high when setting your goals. It's also wise to realize that reaching big objectives takes time. Having a number of smaller goals will help keep the motivation level high, because you'll see more tangible progress. And every time you tick off one of your smaller goals, you're that much closer to your long-term objective.
Identify any obstacles. Once you have determined your long-term objectives and your short-term goals, you should take a look at any obstacles, or cons‚ or things that might stand in the way of achieving the results you're after. If you are alerted to potential problems, you can head them off by proactively praying for potential solutions.
Formulate a strategy. Once you have determined your long-term objectives and the short-term goals, you need a plan that includes specific tasks that will help you reach each of your short-term goals. Your plan must be realistic. A lofty plan may look impressive, but if it's too complicated or difficult to implement, it will never get off the ground and therefore be ineffective.
Assign the specific tasks that will be involved. Determine who will be responsible for each step, when they should have it done by, and if it's possible to know at this stage, how it should be done. Accountability is vital to success, as otherwise there will be no follow-through and no progress.
Planning is an investment. To plan wisely and well takes time, effort, patience‚ good research, and counsel. But a well-formed plan will pay for itself many times over.
There are many ways to create a strategy, but here are a few tried-and-proven principles that you might want to try:
Define your long-term objectives. What exactly do you hope to achieve? Spell each one out on paper in concrete, concise terms. For the greatest chance of success, narrow your focus to one or two primary objectives. You can take on more or diversify later.
Set short-term goals to reach your long-term objectives. In order to reach your long-term objectives, you will need steppingstones along the way. These should be smaller goals that together will get you to the final destination of your long-term objectives. They should be detailed and specific, concrete and measurable. If a goal isn't something that you'll be able to tick off as done, if it can't be quantified, then it's not specific enough.
Breaking down your goals into bite-sized pieces is crucial. The simpler and easier your goals are to reach, the better, because you'll see more immediate progress. It's easy to overestimate and shoot too high when setting your goals. It's also wise to realize that reaching big objectives takes time. Having a number of smaller goals will help keep the motivation level high, because you'll see more tangible progress. And every time you tick off one of your smaller goals, you're that much closer to your long-term objective.
Identify any obstacles. Once you have determined your long-term objectives and your short-term goals, you should take a look at any obstacles, or cons‚ or things that might stand in the way of achieving the results you're after. If you are alerted to potential problems, you can head them off by proactively praying for potential solutions.
Formulate a strategy. Once you have determined your long-term objectives and the short-term goals, you need a plan that includes specific tasks that will help you reach each of your short-term goals. Your plan must be realistic. A lofty plan may look impressive, but if it's too complicated or difficult to implement, it will never get off the ground and therefore be ineffective.
Assign the specific tasks that will be involved. Determine who will be responsible for each step, when they should have it done by, and if it's possible to know at this stage, how it should be done. Accountability is vital to success, as otherwise there will be no follow-through and no progress.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Attitude works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya.
Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans sookh gayi.
"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha.
Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi.
Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadiiko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazahi kuchh aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usnezor se dakaar mara.
Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "yekutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!"
Aur sherwahan se champat ho gaya.
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yehmauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon, sher se dostiho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega.
Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekhliya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab batadiya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher zor se dahada,"chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apanipeeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karkebaith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta hogaya saala ek sher phaans kar nahi la sakta!"
Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans sookh gayi.
"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha.
Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi.
Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadiiko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazahi kuchh aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usnezor se dakaar mara.
Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "yekutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!"
Aur sherwahan se champat ho gaya.
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yehmauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon, sher se dostiho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega.
Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekhliya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab batadiya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher zor se dahada,"chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apanipeeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karkebaith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta hogaya saala ek sher phaans kar nahi la sakta!"
Friday, May 1, 2009
Hope you like this........
Hope you like this........
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW".
He writes it easily and passes. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN".
He too passes. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ." Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.........................
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW".
He writes it easily and passes. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN".
He too passes. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ." Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.........................
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