Being Overly Optimistic

It is good to be optimistic as it can keep our spirit up and optimistic people tend to achieve what they want to achieve. Isn't that true? Yes, that is what the experts or everyone is saying. But how true is this theory that being optimistic is beneficial to us?

Let us take a look at The Secret. The theory of The Secret is that you will need to keep thinking about what you want in order to attract it to your life. So naturally this means that you will need to be optimistic and think only about the positive. I am not saying that being positive is a wrong thing to do but I am questioning whether it is the best approach?

I had seen people who embrace the theory of being optimistic in every situation and it does well for them because they feel happier at that very moment. But it seems like to be that they are being blinded by their optimism that they lose their perception of reality. They drift to the future and lost sense of what is right in front of them now.

Let us take a look at an example. Let's say John has a goal and his goal is to achieve financial freedom. But his situation right now is not favourable. He is working in a 12 hours a day job and earning $1500 per month. He decided to adopt the optimistic approach, be optimistic, think positive and hoping that things will get better.

Optimist Approach vs Realist Approach

How many of you believe that staying optimistic is going to help John achieve financial freedom? Yes, The Secret says so that staying optimistic and thinking positive will attract the scenarios to help him get his dream job and earn $100,000 per year. But I am sure that this approach will not work out well.

To be fair to The Secret, I got to agree that staying optimistic to a certain extent does help to keep the mind sane. But this approach isn't really the best way to achieve what you want in life. So what if John takes another approach instead? – The Realist Approach.

John has a goal to achieve financial freedom and he is stuck in his day 12 hours day job earning $1500 per month. He chose to be aware of his current situation. He knows that what he is doing now is not going to get him to where he wants to be. The reality, the harsh facts and true numbers are staring in his face. He want to change and he knows that he is not optimistic about his current situation and in fact, he felt pessimistic about his future if things are going to continue the way it is. This is the point where he decided to change because is aware of his present situation.

Which approach do you think is the better one? The optimistic approach where John just stays optimistic and think positive or the realist approach where John is aware of the truth right now and decided that he needs to fix it in order to move on?

Just staying positive and overly optimistic puts you into a self denial mode and eventually you will become the world's biggest liar by lying to yourself everyday. You lose your sense of reality (not earning enough money now) and escape to the future (financial freedom). This is not a very smart thing to do because if you do not fix your problems of today, the problem will still be there tomorrow. The problem doesn't go away if all you do is to be optimistic of the future and stay ignorant of the problem staring at you now.

Parting Words

What I want to reinforce here is that you will need to avoid letting optimism take over your sense of reality. If you are unhealthy, broke or unhappy, it is a problem that you need to fix now. Don't hold on to the thought that things will be better tomorrow when you are not taking any action to fix it. If nothing had been done, things are going to stay the same way! What do you think? Do you think the realist approach or the optimist approach works better?

Don't be Conditioned to Lose

An eagle's egg was placed in the nest of a prairie chicken.

The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking

it was a prairie chicken.

The eagle did what the prairie chickens did.

It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled.

It never flew more than a few feet because that is what

the prairie chickens did.

One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically

in the open sky. He asked the prairie chickens:

"What is that beautiful bird?" The chickens replied,

"That is an eagle.

He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him

because you are just a prairie chicken."

So the eagle never gave it a second thought,

believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and

died a prairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage

because of his lack of vision.

What a waste! He was born to win,

but was conditioned to lose.

Do not let people or situations or even yourself

condition you to lose in life.

How To Fix The Systems In Our Lives?

Life is made up of a series of systems which can be changed to make our lives better.

We all have systems going on in our lives: sleep, career, hobbies, relationships, money management, goals, personal hygiene, health, eating, etc.

I believe one of the key components of a successful life is to be able to manage all the systems in our lives as efficiently and as painless as possible.

For example if we have a health problem, we have to look at the system of health in our life, dissect it and find out where the problem is lying and look at ways of fixing it.

Similarly if we have a problem with managing our money, we dissect the money management system and look for the reasons we cannot manage our money correctly, and then look at ways of fixing it.

What I've come to realise is that when these systems are working well our lives tend to go well and everything is hunky dory, but when one of the systems fail, it causes the others to fail in some way as well. It's like a cog in a machine, if one of the cogs break then it effectively breaks the whole machine.

Sleep is a system which has a set of subsystems, which, if tweaked correctly, can help us to get a great night sleep, give us more energy and allow us to sleep less. We just have to look at sleep as a whole, break it down and then start tweaking what's not working.

Then, when I started looking at other areas of life I soon realised than we can do this with almost every area of our life.

If you think about it we are a system of habits.

Most of our life is made up of things we do every day, day in day out and it doesn't change much. This might make us humans sound dull and uninteresting but it's a good thing really as it keeps our lives together, it keeps us from feeling stressed as we know pretty much what we are going to be doing this time next week, we know where we will be celebrating Christmas, we know when we are going on holiday, we know when we are going to work, when we sit down for dinner, when we have to study and the list goes on. So, because we are going to live our lives like this wouldn't it make sense to make it the best system we could and make things run smoothly and even make it work for us, and make it better.

The Systems In Our Lives

One of the first things to do is look at every system in your life just now and assess it. The simple way to assess it is just give it a mark out of 10, nothing fancy, a quick, intuitive mark which tells you how well you think that particular part of life is going.

Look at some of the systems below, add some of your own and give them a mark out of 10:

· Health

· Career

· Marriage

· Relationship with children

· Money

· Life Goals

· Friends

· Sleep

· Diet

· Spirituality

· Fun

I will give you an example of the diet system in your life and how it can be analysed:

Suppose a person's diet is not going so great, so it would be time to look at his diet and figure out why he only scored it 6 out of 10. And that would be the next part; to drill down on the system and find the sub-systems in order to tweak it as much as possible.

Looking at the subsystems

Once we recognise that something isn't quite right with one of the systems in our life we can then drill down on it to find out why it's not working and aim to look at fixing it.

In case of Diet one can ask following questions (subsystems):

· What do I eat?

· What do I drink?

· How many calories do I consume?

· What type of bread do I eat?

· When do I eat?

· What foods make me sluggish?

· What are the staple foods I eat?

Etc.

From the example above you can ask a lot of questions about the system of your diet and look at each different sub-system and start to tweak it. It would be a matter of testing and tweaking until you get that particular system of your life just right, and keep on tweaking it until it is near perfect.

Of course there could be two or three sub-systems that work hand in hand to affect the overall harmony of the whole system. So you might think your diet is not that great and you keep putting on a few pounds no matter how little you eat, but it could be you're eating late at night and hardly anything during the day. This means that your body is storing fat during the day as it thinks you're not eating enough and you're releasing fat at night, but not as much due to your expending less energy when you are sleeping.

Looking At All Your Sub-Systems

When you start to look at all the systems of your life in turn and drill down on them and look at the sub-systems you can really get a handle on the things that you need to do to improve your overall life.

This is just a brief overview of looking at the systems in your life and I hope it makes sense and is useful in your life.

I would also recommend a great book for further reading on this called Work The System by Sam Carpenter.

10 Beliefs That Could Hold You Back In Life

I have spoken a lot about beliefs and how to change them to make your life better. There are certain beliefs that a lot of people believe and I think it's time to address these.

We are initially given beliefs from our parents, teachers, peers, TV and media. When we are young we think adults know more than us so we generally trust in what they say. However as we get older we form our own beliefs about the world. However some of the residual beliefs from our childhood can remain. Sometimes they have remained without us knowing about them.

Here are some beliefs that may be residual, see if you recognise any of them and change them.

· If You Fail At Something You Are A Failure: This is perpetuated at school and throughout our days of turning into an adult. We are encouraged to win at all costs. If I fail at something, and I have many times, I try again, and again, and again until I get it right. If you believe that "if you fail at something you are a failure" then that means everyone in the world is a failure. Don't hold yourself back by believing this. Install a new belief.

· Why Change It If It's Not Broken: I don't mean changing for the sake of changing. I am talking about improving upon existing appliances, processes etc. We need change to move on with life and you will always come up against people who don't like change, avoid them if you can. If you see something that could be improved try and implement it.

· You Are Not Skilled Enough To Go For It: Nobody in life is skilled enough until they start doing it. If you want to do something just start doing it, don't stress about not getting into university to do a degree in computing, just do it until you get in. The internet has more information than you will get at university, college or school it's just a matter of finding it. If you are good and you sell yourself well, you will get noticed.

· You Are Too Old To Start Something New: The average life expectancy in the UK is about 75 for men and 79 for women and it is similar in the US and Europe . This will change and soon we'll be seeing the average life expectancy at 100. This means we are never too old to start something new. Starting a new venture is a great way to keep the brain active and to keep motivation up for living. I believe we are a nation of people who expect to die at around 75 or so, so what happens? We do. If we expect to live to 100 we would do more changing, feel less inhibited by time. Just do it.

· Believing God Is An Entity Outside Your Control: You control God, not the other way about. When I say God, I mean a spiritual force, I don't mean the bible and all that as that is obviously not to be believed literally. God is a force within you, when you pray, you are praying to yourself, when you ask forgiveness you are asking yourself for forgiveness. Nobody in this universe controls you, you control the force within you, never let go of that belief. You do not need anybody or anything to allow you to live your own life, live it for yourself and help others to live theirs.

· You Won't Amount To Anything: The very fact that you are alive says that you are special. If you want to be extraordinary you have to put in the effort. Every single one of us has a talent we don't know about or have not yet been recognised for. Try everything to find something that you love. I am a great believer in change; you don't have to do one thing all your life. Change your lifestyle many times until you find a path you love and are willing to work on.

· The World Does Not Revolve Around You: The whole universe is all about you. Every single person on this planet has a different world going on inside their heads. You see the world differently from me and I see it differently from someone else. Therefore the world is about you. Tell me now: what are you going to do to change your world?

· Nobody Believes In You: I believe in you, but my opinion is worth nothing, everybody's opinion is worth nothing. Work on believing in yourself and work on letting go of needing others to believe in you. As soon as you start believing in yourself other people will start believing in you, but let go of needing their belief.

· You Will Never Make That Amount Of Money: I have heard this so many times. You will make exactly what you expect to make. If I say to myself `There is no way I could make a million pounds' my brain will not look for ways of making that million. If I am determined enough to make a million my brain will help me look for ways of making it, no matter how outrageous the idea, at least you will be creating ideas.

· There Is Nothing You Can Do About It: Rubbish! You can change any aspect of your life you just can't see it yet. Some people never get past this and it's such a shame. Life can be hard and it takes guts to make the decision to change your life, but you can change it. Know what you want, know the steps you have to take and then change it.